Welcome to The Face-Off Show! Today Vic and Dan sit down with Mario and Lila, the stars of Snap Shot, for an interview.
I hope you enjoy the following sit-down. I had a blast writing it. I truly adore Lila and Mario as well as the Kalinski-Arou’s. Just one thing…
This is Victor Kalinski. He is/was a hockey player married to a hockey player who spends most of his time with a team of hockey players. Rude talk about sex, genitalia and bodily functions is a given. Foul language and sarcasm are to be expected. If these things knot your knickers it’s best to leave now because Victor does not hold back.
Vic taps mic – “Is this thing on?” *glances at V.L. seated off stage and gets a thumbs-up* “Oh cool, okay, so Donald Trump, Mike Pence, and Steve Bannon walk into a gay bar…”
Dan – “Uh, Vic, I’m not sure you should finish that joke.”
Vic – “That was the joke. Get it? Because those three would never walk into a – You know when you have to explain a political joke it kind of loses all its punch.”
Dan – “I’m Canadian. We’re just standing in our houses eating Timbits and watching the politics down south through our windows, you know?”
Vic- “Lucky fucks have Trudeau and we have to deal with the above-mentioned spawns of Beelzebub.”
Dan – “You want I should hum our national anthem?”
Vic – “Can you hum it on my dick? What was that noise? Oh, it’s V.L. waving her hands around trying to get my attention. Does she look pasty to you? Yeah, yeah, I see you tapping on your watch. Guess we better get to it then. This month we have two people who Dan and I call friends, like real friends, not the shady friends who only latch onto you then drop you as soon as you’re sent to Cayuga. Yeah, Bertram at the Kinko’s, I’m looking at you, you miserable cockroach dropping.”
Dan – “Okay, so while Vic glowers at someone who can’t see him because this ain’t TV, I’ll welcome Mario and Lila out.”
Vic hits the phone lying on the table beside his chair. “My Girl” by The Temptations plays. Mario and Lila leave Vic and Dan’s kitchen and sit down in the makeshift stage in the guy’s living room.
Vic- “I picked that song for you guys.”
Lila – “It’s a lovely tune, Victor.”
Vic- “Yeah, I know. So, you two look good. Am I supposed to play Joan Rivers – bless her fashion criticizing heart – and tell everyone what we’re wearing too, V.L.? For Christ’s sake. Fine. So McGarrity is in some Scottish t-shirt that says something about the size of his shillelagh or something…”
Mario – “Uh, dip shit? A shillelagh is a walking stick that’s associated with Ireland.”
Vic – “Your point? Oh, Ireland and Scotland. Different. Got it. So, he has a shirt and his skirt is purple. Lila is in a pink dress and looks foxy as hell. There, fashion corner is over. What? Oh, for fuck sake V.L.! Me and Dan are in jeans and Cougar’s sweatshirts. Can we end the clothing bit now? Thank you. Man, authors are so freaking bossy.”
Dan – “Here, have a Coke.” *pulls a can out of the ice tub and lobs it at Vic* “While he gets happy again, let’s talk about your new book coming out on April 6. What’s it like to have a book all about you?”
Lila – “Well, of course it is very exciting. I never thought that people would respond to Seamus and me as they did.”
Vic – “Let’s tackle that Seamus thing. Why do you call him that instead of Mario?”
Lila – “It just rolls off the tongue better when one is in the throes of passion. Also, I like having a unique moniker for him that’s mine and mine alone.”
Mario – “That’s my girl. Always so fancy and sexy.” *reaches over to squeeze her thigh*
Vic – “Which leads me to ask her -yet again – what the hell she’s doing with a thundering ass clown like you.”
Lila – “Oh now Victor, I know deep down you love Seamus as much as I do. As for the nicknames, don’t you and Daniel have pet names for each other?”
Dan – “Oh yeah we do. I call him ‘Babe’ and he calls me ‘Sweets’.
Vic – “Okay, see the point of this here show is me asking the guests questions. Not the other way around. So, if we can get back to me asking? Thank you. One of the members of V.L.’s readers group over on the Book of Face, Emily, wanted to know how you and the big doofus in the kilt met.”
Mario – “I’ll take this one, baby, if you don’t mind?”
Lila – “Not at all, Seamus.”
Mario – “We met one night when the Cougars were playing in Scranton. Fate kind of tossed us into the same bar. She was sitting there sipping on some sweet fruity drink, long legs crossed, and looking as fine in her red dress as I had ever seen a woman. I had to get closer, you know? Smell her, maybe talk to her. I offered to buy her a drink. She gave me a long once-over, leaned in real close, and whispered ‘I always did want to discover what a Scotsman wears under his kilt’ and that, as they say, was that. She found out and I never could get her out of my head afterward. I think I might have fallen in love with her a little bit that night and just didn’t realize it until I saw her again later.”
Vic – “That was when we shoved the fist of revenge right up Prescott’s homophobic ass sans lube. Good times, good times.”
Dan – “So tell us a little about Snap Shot, your book that’s coming out in a couple weeks. We know that it’s the first of the Cayuga Cougars series but is there anything you can tell us that won’t spoil the whole book?”
Lila – “I think it’s safe to say that while Snap Shot is a hockey book, it’s also a family tale as much as it is a sports romance.”
Mario – “Yeah, I agree with that. There’s a ton of family drama, laughter, hot sexy times with my woman, as well as friendship and ice time.”
Dan – “Cool! I won’t probe too much about the book so I don’t ruin things for the readers. How important is it, do you think, that this series kicks off with a bisexual man and a transgender woman as the lead couple?”
Lila – “I think it is of the utmost importance. Every day we see the rights of trans people being trampled. Students now are no longer protected in schools, trans men and women are beaten and killed at alarming rates. So much of this anger and hatred is based on fear. People are afraid of what they do not understand. This is why it’s so important to have people read about trans characters. Get to know them, grow to love them. Only through love, information, and understanding can we allay the fears of the uninformed.”
Mario – “That was so beautifully said, baby.”
Vic – “Hashtag representation matters. Lila, for serious, if this galoot ever decides to act like a dick-head, you come hang out with me and Dan.”
Mario – “You got no worries about that. Trust me, I know what kind of sweetness I got. I ain’t fucking this up for nothing.”
Lila – “You boys are too dear.” *leans over to press a kiss to three cheeks.
Vic – “Wow, well I guess this is a good place to wrap things up. Remember to add Snap Shot to your Goodreads Want-To-Read shelf using this linky-link right here...
There will be no preorders so make sure you put that red circle on your calendar for 4/6 so you can grab your copy. Who are we looking at next on The Face-Off Show, Danny Boy?”
Dan – “This is going to be cool! Looks like we’ll be having Whitney Beaupré of the Philadelphia Venom on next. She’s the star of an F/F novella, Playmaker, coming out on May 5th.”
Vic- “Nice! More LGBT hockey goodness. Oh fuck, I sounded like V.L. there. Shit. Now I know it’s time to end this show. See you next month. Maybe. If I feel like it.”
Dan – “We’ll be here. No worries.” *winks at reader*