Thursday, June 14, 2012

June 14th

In honor of the adoption of the United States flag. Long may she wave.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Really, Coffeepot?!

I mean, REALLY?! *Throttles coffeemaker then pushes BREW button with anger*

The above violent scene is a recreation of words and actions that occurred at precisely 5:32 AM this morning. Please rest assured that although there was a brief moment of appliance garroting, no coffeemakers were harmed (Got to cover your bases nowadays, there could be a fanatical group out there that will throw paint on me for harming a kitchen appliance) although one was shaken quite severely.

Generally, I`m a rather placid person, not inclined to angry outbursts but there are a few things that knot my knickers.

Getting my groceries out of the car at home, only to have the bottom rip out of those flimsy recycled plastic bags and seeing my food hit the dirt driveway. By the time I`ve gathered up the rolling cans from the goat pasture and tugged the loaf of bread from my ‘Helping-Hand’ dog Trinity`s mouth, I`m in a fine, frothy lather.

Another thing that prods my goat is when someone continues to ask me questions that I do not have the answer to AFTER I have already informed said person that ‘I don`t know.’ Mister is a prime offender of this goat-prodding behavior at times. If I said, ten minutes ago, that I don`t know why that little box came up on the computer after you tried to upload game camera pictures, I still won`t know when you ask for the seventeenth time. Please stop putting forth that query, because I haven`t been blessed with a jolt of technological inspiration since the last time you asked, thank you my beloved husband.

Telemarketers also stir my hornets’ nest. Thank goodness for Caller I.D., is all I have to say. Now I can ignore Mr. Unknown Name when he calls me during Sunday dinner.

So yeah, those are a few things that rankles me, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will whip my meringue stiffer than slugging out in the morning and discovering that the power has flickered off during the night, leaving my coffeemaker sitting there empty and cold to taunt me. And it has to be just a flicker because every darned clock in the house is right. All I ask is to have that pot waiting for me, filled to the rim with my zombie cure juice. Is that asking too much, I ask you?? Does the squirrel that ran over the electric line realize how difficult it is to reprogram a coffeemaker without coffee in your veins?! Probably not since squirrels are notorious coffee-haters.

Wow that felt rather cathartic to release all that pent-up ire at coffeemakers, plastic bags and rodents that disdain my sacred java! I think the day will proceed brilliantly now that the sludge of anger at my coffeepot has been released. Thank you for your support of a goatherding meltdown. Anytime any of you have an empty coffeemaker in the morning, feel free to vent on my blog. We`ll all be shaking, vacant-eyed folks cussing like Yosemite Sam at our Mr. Coffee, Black & Decker or Melitta coffeepots.

Or maybe we`ll just cuss out squirrels….

A loud yodel of welcome to Karen Buzzell! Howdy, Karen, and thanks for stopping in to visit the resident crazies here on the hillside farm.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hillside Farm KORN News Report

Good morning gang, drop on down and have a fresh cuppa!

I don`t know how many of you remember Charlie Farquharson from the ‘Hee Haw’ series, but I sort of feel like him today. Granted, there`s no chicken sitting behind my desk *Peeks around kitchen* No, we`re good at the moment, but there was a robin here just a minute ago. Mister, who has the day off due to a very tragic occurrence at the foundry where he works yesterday, found a fledgling robin wrapped up in some twine. We snipped the twine from his leg and let him go. How Lucius didn`t stumble upon the poor thing I will never know!

Mister is now down working on the addition to the goat barn. I have a few pictures of our new milking parlor to share. This is how it looked two weeks ago....

Some of the carpenter assistants during thier lunch break...

More help....

And yet more help...

And this is where we are today...

An interior shot...

It`s coming along very nicely. There`s still lots of work to do inside but once everything is situated we`ll have running water to cool down the milk, a sink to sit the tote in and lots of storage space for grain. That will save Mister some back strain, as he now has to carry hundred-pound feed bags from the shed down to the goat barn.

We`ve separated the kids from their mothers. The hills are alive with unhappy Nubians. Some have gone hoarse and after two days, I`m kind of glad to hear it. I know, that sounds very cruel, but in all honesty over fifteen Nubian mothers and kids shrieking from sunrise to sunset starts to get a wee bit tiresome. Another day or two and all will be accepted I`m sure.

On other fronts, Miss is becoming quite the good little driver! I now have a chauffeur when we go anywhere. That is real nice. She`s also getting ready for the end of school on June 14th and the new job she has for over the summer. She`ll be helping my editor and her sister with household cleaning and whatever else they need done. Miss is very excited to have a job, and some money, and Mister and I are thrilled to know she`ll be paying her own cell phone bill and forking over the cash for those downloads from Rhapsody!

I`ve been busy promoting ‘Of Gods & Goats’ and getting the second novel ready to be passed to Beta readers while writing the third novel in the trilogy. The first book is getting some wonderful reviews and I`m just as tickled as a hog in slop about the four and five stars over on GoodReads! Anyone who wishes can purchase their copy from my website, which is linked over on the right or from Smashwords for their eReader.

Let`s see, what else is there to pass along? *Sips java and contemplates* Not much else to pass along I guess. Life on the hillside farm seems to be pretty quiet. Guess I`ll ramble off, mug in hand, and catch up with what`s new with all my fellow bloggers! Oh! Before I forget, a big yodel of welcome to Gloria Clarke! Howdy Gloria, welcome to the hillside farm.

Have a good one!

Friday, June 1, 2012

Word of Mouth - Such is Life

Try to picture this, if you can. You`re a single, professional, woman who finds that she not only has a class reunion to attend but an ex`s wedding all on the same weekend. Oh! And to make matters worse, your date ducked out leaving you with no recourse but to ask your assistant. Who wants to go to an ex`s wedding and class reunion dateless, right ladies? Not that taking the assistant is a chore mind you, because the man is drop-dead handsome and witty and fun and sexy and…yeah, so taking him might be a problem after all. Not to mention having to share a bed in your basement bedroom of your parent`s house in rural Mansfield, Pennsylvania with said dreamy assistant.

This is the crazy set of circumstances that author Angel A. Walker places in front of her protagonist, Melissa Jones, in her debut novel, ‘Such is Life’ a contemporary romantic/comedy. You know that when the book starts out with a gynecologist appointment that has you laughing out loud, you`re in for a wild, fun-filled ride! Aside from having a lovely uterus (Melissa`s gynecologist`s praise, not mine. I`ve never seen her uterus but I`m sure it`s delightful) Melissa is somehow propelled along on a weekend of mayhem, bedlam, romance and convoluted family situations.

Ms. Walker runs her heroine through a gauntlet of events from paint-balling with friends to the ex`s wedding where an accidental pant blaze occurs, over the hurdles of spending time with family that was lead to believe there is more to the Melissa/Brett the hunky assistant relationship then there is, to the reunion itself where somehow our gang ends up in jail after a kerfuffle breaks out among the ladies.

It`s like being on a roller-coaster of slapstick adventures as Melissa tries to work out who she really wants to be with. The two old loves that keep coming back into her life, or Brett, the man who suffered in good grace having his trousers set ablaze, being shot repeatedly with paint balls, taking a shot to the manly jewels and finding himself in lock-up.

I found myself wanting to reach into the book, grab Melissa by her shoulders and shake her soundly at times. Personally why she even looks at the two men in her past is beyond me! Brett is everything she needs in my humble. When an author makes me want to yell at the characters that`s a good sign because it means I`ve gotten invested and bonded with the characters. Ms. Walker gives us delightful, sassy characters that you grow attached to quickly, and yes, sometimes want to boot in the butt.

The humor and wit in this book is superb. The one-liners are delivered with amazing speed and comedic timing. The dialog is fresh and snappy throughout. But there is more to this novel than just the outward comedy-of-errors that propels Melissa through the weekend from hell. Ms. Walker shows us a leading lady that is full of self-doubt and possible low self-esteem. We see a family that loves each other dearly but discover that Melissa`s mother tends to drink heavily, a habit that Melissa seems to fall into whenever she finds herself overwhelmed.

There is some real meat along with the funny potatoes in ‘Such is Life’ and that real-life undercurrent is what has me pacing the floor for the next book in the series, as well as wanting more belly laughs of course.

Will Melissa see how perfect Brett is for her? Will she stop worrying about how it looks to date her assistant? What about Shawn and Derrick, the two men from her past that she can`t seem to break free from? And will we see Melissa deal with a possible addiction that she doesn`t seem to know she has?

I know I need answers to those questions! So you can bet as soon as the second book is released I`ll be grabbing it.