Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Gosh Diggity Darn-it!

Argh! Sometimes I make myself so darned mad!

*Flops down into kitchen chair and scowls at cup of coffee* Hey gang, come on in and rest for a spell. Don`t mind me, I`m just in a snit over the lack of memory my brain has. Wonder if I can upgrade it like a computer somehow. Jam a memory card in my ear or something along those lines?? Have my daughter upload important data into my head not unlike she does for my writing on my flash drive??

I had this wonderful, witty, clever idea for a blog post last night. These inspirations come to me at the most odd times and places. Last night it was as I was sitting in the tub trying to keep our black lab Trinity from dropping my slipper into my bath water. (Someday I`ll learn to close the door tightly) It was a boffo idea! I recall clearly thinking ‘Wow Feral that is such a darn humorous notion! You had best make sure you write it down!’

Well, life being what it is somehow I got diverted from the stellar witty thought. Probably it was either by the book I wanted to finish for a review later this week or by a video game. Or Toby Turner on YouTube, that guy cracks me up! Whatever the cause here it is morning and do you think I can remember what that great clever ideal was?!? Not even an extra cuppa has shaken it from my scattered mind. Where do these things go?? Is there some floating orb of random ideas somewhere in space that sucks up our brilliant notions? Is this the same place those missing socks in the dryer end up?

I don`t have one clue as to where all my witty ideas disappear to before I can locate a pen and paper but wherever they are they`re having one fine chuckle at me, I can just feel it. Cruel little taunting things that they are!

Aside from my lost blog entry idea things here are running pretty much as usual. I`m pleased to say that our battle with pinkeye and my sable doe Jennifer is about over. Her cloudy eyes are much improved! Now two others have it. *Sighs and takes a hearty swig of Folgers* So much for it being the non-contagious type. Ah well, such is the joy of being a goatherder I suppose. We`ve started drying down our milkers in preparation for breeding season in another 6-8 weeks. We`re still in the skip a day phase but soon we`ll notch it up to every third day for a few weeks. I`ll miss my goat milk. That store bought stuff just isn`t as good. I do like to give my girls a rest from milking though so I`ll suffer with that white water as I call the skim milk Mister grabs.

The birds are being birds. I`m down to one lone duck-my poor Qhuinn. He even looks blasé now since he molted his dashing drake feathers. He`ll grow them back, it`s normal for a Rouen drake to go through this girly phase, but I miss my handsome man duck. I`m currently looking for a friend for Qhuinn so if anyone nearby who reads this knows of anyone with some ducks to sell give me a holler.

What else? Miss is getting ready for school to start next week. Mister has been working overtime for a few weeks now, which is nice for the paycheck but makes him a darn worn-out goatherder. The book is going well I`m pleased to report! Got up over 76,000 words yesterday and the ending`s now in sight! When I hit 80,000 I`ll post a snippet here for y`all. Sunday I went to a marketing seminar at our local indie bookstore. Kasey did one heck of a job and passed along some great tips for selling and marketing our books before and after they`re published. Thanks Kasey and Kevin for doing these for us! Oh! I found an editor that will do mechanical, grammatical AND content editing all at once! That was a real boon and she`s local to boot!

Hurricane Irene didn`t hit us too soundly over the weekend. Just some rain on Sunday morning and a few gusts mostly. My thoughts do go to those who were hit hard.

Anything else I can think to pass along? *Ponders and sips* Not really I guess. Overall it`s been rather serene here on the hillside farm, well, aside from my missing thought bubble. If anyone finds that idea floating past them would you swat it back towards Pennsylvania?

So how are things going in your neck of the woods?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Word of Mouth-Miss Peregrine`s Home for Peculiar Children

Howdy gang, I`m all set to spread some word of mouth about the latest book I read.

This time we`ll be chatting about ‘Miss Peregrine`s Home for Peculiar Children’ written by Ransom Riggs.

According to the inner jacket sleeve this is his first novel. I am stunned at the man`s writing ability and hope we see more from him. The book, a New York Times best seller was recommended to me by the delightful owner of my indie book store Kasey, and I thank her for the nudge. Normally this book wouldn`t have been in my ever-increasing pile but going with Kasey`s suggestion I grabbed it one day. You too will want to grab it on your next trip to the book store my friends! This novel that combines fiction with stunning photographs will grab you from the first chapter and not let go until you turn that last page!

It all begins with a terrible family tragedy for sixteen year old Jacob. This tragedy sends him on a journey with his father to a small island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine`s Home for Peculiar Children. Before the horrible upset that sent Jacob to this mysterious island his grandfather spoke of this Miss Peregrine and how she took him in during the nightmares of World War 2. Jacob`s grandfather also had photographs. Strange and very peculiar photographs of children appearing to be doing miraculous things but as Jacob grew older he began to cast off the stories his grandfather would tell.

Now though, as he begins to explore the abandoned bedrooms and eerie hallways of this wreck of a home on a remote island, he begins to wonder if Miss Peregrine and her children weren`t more than just the fanciful tales of an old man. He also begins to suspect that these kids may have been more than peculiar, they may have been dangerous! Why else would they be quarantined on this little speck of nothing in the ocean?? And could it be that they`re all still alive???

Mister Riggs spins an incredible tale of suspense, humor, light romance, action, shadows, evil villains, monsters and photographs that keeps you frantically turning page after page until you arrive at the end with a pout that the ride is over. His characters are skillfully crafted and very appealing, the pace is tight and never lags, the plot is inventive and touching and I found myself hoping that there will be another book to follow this one. I want to know what happens to Jacob! Heck I NEED to know what happens to this young man as he moves on with his new friends and one bird in a cage!

I highly recommend this book to readers of all genre`s, it has a touch of everything for everyone!

Monday, August 22, 2011

His Mind/My Mind

Sometimes, over a cuppa, I like to reflect or ponder upon things.

Today over my mug of heaven I thought I would ruminate over the differences in the male and female mind. Now I don`t profess to be any kind of mental health professional, and I know this subject has been debated since time immortal but sometimes the wide gap in man-woman brains astounds me. And this from a woman that`s been married over twenty years to the same man. (Got to stick that same man nugget in there nowadays just for clarification) What set my mind to mulling was a discussion Mister and I had Saturday.

It was our monthly ‘Go to dinner, see a flick and leave the kid at Grandma`s night’. So I called our little local theater to get the times and find out what was playing. After listening to the choices and pitching a fit that the new Ryan Reynolds movie wasn`t playing, Mister and I had this conversation. I think the subtle nuance of the mind-sets comes out rather well.

“Well,” I said with a frown over not being able to see my Ryan,” Out of all of them I`d like to see Conan.”

“It won`t be good,” my mate muttered. (He`s a huge fan of the original Arnold movie. Me on the other hand can barely tolerate watching the original due to the-well, we`ll see why-)

“Now how can you know that?”

“It`s not Arnold.”

*Sighs*” Yes, I know it`s not. It`s Jason Momoa. Maybe we`ll be able to understand what Conan says this time and hey, maybe Momoa can act!”

*Raising a brow at my slice at The Terminator* “He`s not as big as Arnold was.”

“And your point is?”

“It won`t be as good.”

“So the merit of the movie isn`t based upon the actor, his speech or his acting ability, it`s based on the size of the man`s pectorals?”

“When you look like Arnold it doesn`t matter if you can act or not.”

*Falling down into a chair to gape at the man*


“Nothing, I`m just trying to figure out what that even means,” I said dully.

“Look,” he said as if I were some silly woman,” If you look like Arnold it doesn`t matter if you can act. I mean, he was enormous! This guy isn`t nearly as-“

“But he couldn`t barely speak passable English when he made that!” I argued hoping my estrogen would wash over the testosterone words and somehow make them sensible to me.

“So? He was huge.”

“So`s an elephant but that doesn`t mean they can act!”

“What the hell does an elephant have to do with Conan?”

“What the hell does a man`s bicep girth have to do with good acting?” I inquired because I really wanted to know. A moment passed.

“It better have lots of blood,” Mister grunted.

I still don`t know what bearing a bigger chest has on a thespian`s ability to act. Nor shall I ever be able to figure out the discussion or the thought-process of the man I married. All I do know is that every male shall pale in comparison to Arnold I guess.

Oh, and the new Conan had enough blood to appease Mister.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Pickles and Pink Eye

Morning all, or maybe I should say late morning? Whichever, the pots on so take a load off!

Things have been a bit frantic around here of late, busier than usual but it looks like the calm has set in finally. Fair week was a non-stop run but always a good time, but I`m glad it`s over too. This week just passed kept me hopping as well. Monday Miss had an appointment with the chiropractor, Tuesday she had to go to the optometrist for a before-school exam and new contacts and Wednesday she went over to friends for a day of video gaming.

Now the joy of rural living is that neighbors are few and far between. Also the downside of rural living is that neighbors are few and far between. So when your kid wants to spend the day with a buddy, they can`t just skip next door. Nope, we skip to the neighboring county! Or in this case the neighboring state, since the young fellow moved this summer. That’s a lot of skipping! But, she enjoyed herself and that`s all that matters.

We`ve been busy making pickles here on the hillside farm.

The cucumbers have gone insane and I fear have plans to take over the garden, if not the entire county! We kept the smaller ones for our batch and have been feeding hundred pound feed sacks of bigger ones to Patty and the geese and chickens. Hundred pound feed sacks! Patty will be a two thousand pound cucumber soon, which is a kind of funny image when I stop and think about it.

What else? *Sips java-juice and ponders* Well, the aroma of amore is in the air once more. Auron has been applying his manly love cologne with vigor. It`s a heck of a thing when you sit down for dinner and the aroma of buck wafts in over your plate of spaghetti and meatballs! Ah yes, and while we`re on the goat front my sable doe Jenny has come down with pink eye. *Sighs* I think it may be stress related from being at fair for a week. She disliked the whole thing greatly and spent seven days ramming heads with the boar goats in the next pen. We`re hoping (hoping being the really big word there) that this is the non-contagious strain but we`re still keeping a very close eye on the other girls. So it`s two trips to the barn every day with LA-200 for an eyewash, a rag with mouthwash to wash away the tears and a very disgruntled goat! Not to mention serious hand-washing when we come inside since humans can catch it.

This morning Mister and I set off for the feed mill to get our half ton of grain. We had a hitchhiker or two that wanted to ride along.

Turkeys are such goofs! Between you and me it`s going to be tough to butcher these fools when November rolls around. They are such friendly and humorous birds.

Not much exciting to relay besides what I already told you guys. My novel is coming along really well. At last peek I was up over 67,000 words! I`m very excited to get this book done and hopefully if all goes according to Hoyle (whoever the Sam Hill he is )perhaps next year I`ll have it ready for sale. I`m going to self-publish I think so there`s quite a bit to do. I do have an editor lined up for grammar and mechanical errors. Still have to locate a content editor yet and an artist for the cover but I have faith that I`ll find them as well. What`s that? I haven`t told y`all what the book is about? Okay, I`ll spill.

It`s a rural romantic comedy, called ‘Of Gods and Goats’. It`s about a widowed woman in her mid-thirties that raises goats in the hills of Pennsylvania that gets an unexpected guest in the form of a Greek god that is exiled from Olympus. This god turns her quiet life upside down in more ways than one and soon my protagonist is facing creatures from the Grecian mythological underworld, an amorous Greek god of war, nosy neighbors, pregnant goats, newspaper reporters and of course her own growing attraction to the leading man, Ares. I`ve been posting snippets on Facebook when I hit every 10,000 word hump, and if I may say so, the response from friends and in my two writers groups has been really favorable. If anyone is interested, I`d be more than happy to give you blogging buddies some sneak peeks as we roll along. Just shout out down in the comments section!

That`s pretty much what`s been keeping Feral busy over the past week or two. What`s been keeping y`all hopping?? Oh, before I forget which I do darned well, a big yodel of welcome to The Old Geezer Blog. Welcome to the hillside farm!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

There is a Reason....

To my lovely teenage daughter and perhaps other teenage girls who may read this. Hopefully this will help you get a glimmer of understanding when you are in a pique.

There is a reason---


There is a reason that we tell you constantly to pick up after yourself.

There is a reason that we won`t allow you to wear scarlet lipstick at fifteen.

There is a reason that we insist on speaking to so-and-so`s parents BEFORE you arrive on their doorstep.

There is a reason that we won`t allow you to ride alone in a car with a boy until you`re sixteen.

There is a reason that we bought you a cell phone, and pay the fifty dollar bill every month besides being able to send text messages to your friends and play Angry Birds.

There is a reason we harp on you about your chores.

There is a reason that we expect good grades and attendance at school.

There is a reason that when you are sixteen you are expected to get a summer job and help pay for gas and auto insurance.

There is a reason that we refuse to allow you to have piercings anyplace on your body besides your ears until you are eighteen.

There is a reason that we do not allow you to sleep ANYWHERE without proper parental supervision.

There is a reason that we insist on meeting your beau and his family.

There is a reason that we like to see you doing your own laundry, learning to cook and dust and vacuum.

There is a reason that we would rather see you reading than staring vacantly at the television.

There is a reason that we do not allow you to leave our home in clothing that your mother wouldn`t dare to wear.

There is a reason that you have a ten o’clock curfew even though many of your friends do not.

There is a reason that we have talked about sex and have made ourselves available to you for any questions.

There is a reason that we have encouraged you to be averse to censorship, hatred, homophobia and racial discrimination.

There is a reason we will not purchase black eyeliner for you.

There is a reason that we plead with you to not give your heart to a boy until you enter college.

There is a reason that we frown when you inform us you had cotton candy and Mountain Dew for lunch.


There is a reason we, your parents, do all of the above and many other things that you dislike greatly.

That reason is that we hope to see you grow and learn and become independent, attend college and find a career that you love.

That reason is that we live in fear of teenage pregnancy, alcohol and drug use, sexually transmitted diseases and drunk driving.

That reason is we want to see you find that one special man and experience love in a mature, caring relationship after you have discovered who you are.

That reason is that we want to see you become the very best woman you can become.

That reason is that we know in another ten or fifteen years you may finally come to understand our reasons.

That reason is that we love you above all else.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Word of Mouth-The Princess Series

Yep, I know it`s been a long time since my last book review, and I am sorry about that. There is a reason though, I wanted to complete the trilogy and present them to y`all as a whole. (Actually I believe there is a fourth book due out sometime this year but we`ll work with these three)

This time around we`ll be passing some word of mouth about a delightful series of books written by Jim C. Hines called the Princess Series. The first of the series is called ‘The Stepsister Scheme’, the second ‘The Mermaid`s Madness’ and the third ‘Red Hood`s Revenge’. Now from the titles I`m sure you have worked out that these tales are based on some of the most popular fairy tales of our time. You`re right, they are, now here comes the but-BUT they are not the fairy tales, or heroines, that we grew up with! You will be hard pressed to find Cinderella, Snow White or Sleeping Beauty in these books sitting, or lying around waiting for a prince to come rescue them!

Oh no, not these ladies! Mister Hines does a wonderful job of recasting three of the most classic heroines of all time. He gives us a trio of women that are now action heroines and secret agents that move smoothly in a world filled with magic, treachery and high adventure! They`re like the Charlie`s Angels of the Hans Christian Anderson set!

In the first book, ‘The Stepsister Scheme’ we meet our new Cinderella after she returns from her honeymoon with her husband Armand, the prince of Lorindor. There were some glass slippers in her past, not to mention a wicked stepmother and as the title indicates, two very scheming stepsister`s! We find out after Prince Armand is kidnapped, that his mother, Queen Beatrice has two young women, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, who serve as her secret agents unbeknownst to anyone. Right off the bat Mister Hines gives us three women who go out, kick rump and save the prince this time!

The second book, ‘The Mermaid`s Madness’ will forever change how you view the tale of the Little Mermaid. We all know the old story, how a young mermaid princess meets a human prince and falls in love. Her love was so innocent and her devotion so pure that she would give up anything for her prince, even her voice or her life. Yeah, okay, toss that aside because this retelling gives us a dark world and a mermaid princess that is NOT swimming about singing lovely songs with a crab! Once more Danielle (Cinderella), Talia (Sleeping Beauty) and Snow are called upon to help save their beloved Queen Bea, the land of Lorindor and the merfolk themselves.

The third book, ‘Red Hood`s Revenge’ brings our action heroine trio back as they set out to the faraway desert land Arathea that Talia (Sleeping Beauty)once called home. This time there are numerous foes the threesome encounter, not the least of which is Roudette, an assassin sent after Talia who wears a red hooded cape. The Lady of the Red Hood, as she is known here, finds herself embroiled in a conflict between fairies and humans having to work with the only woman that has ever fought the wearer of the wolf cape and survived-Talia. We learn a great deal about this new dark Red Riding Hood, and about the cape, the wolf and the hunter, but they aren`t what I knew as a child!

Mister Hines does a grand job of keeping the action quick-paced and the landscapes vivid and engaging. The heroines sure do take those old princesses clichés and toss them out the castle window! His retellings are dark and sometimes gritty, yet his humor lightens some of the darker overtones very nicely. There is some romance, but it is glossed over. I myself wished for a little more spice when the prince and princess are alone in their royal suite, but even without heated bedplay this series is a very enjoyable one.

I would recommend it to anyone with a daughter old enough to read and grasp the feminist ideals Mister Hines serves us. This is one series that will help empower our girls and show them that the days of sitting meekly on a tuffet, or hiding in an attic while we wait for a man to come to our aid is long gone! You go girls!!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Fair Week-2011

Morning all, drop on down and join me in a freshly brewed cup!

*Flops into kitchen chair* I am done in! You ever heard the saying ‘I feel like I was rode hard and put away wet?’ Well I sure feel-Oh now, just stop that snickering! I swear you all have dirty minds. Oh, no-one was thinking that but me? Tee-hee and ahem. Anydoodles, the reason I`m so wiped out is that yesterday was our dairy goat show up at the Tioga Co. fair. As anyone who has a kid knows, show days are long days. Nine hours we spent up at the fairgrounds yesterday, and I have the redneck to prove it! *Peeks over at Mister* And not that one either!

Miss Yodeling did very well, Mama Yodeling said proudly, bringing in a second place prize for showmanship first thing off. Then as we went through the paces of the dairy show she won five reserve and grand champion rosettes for her LaMancha yearling Freya, Sable yearling Calliope and 5 year old Sable doe Jennifer. Here`s a shot of her and Jenny waiting for their class to be called.

And one of her and Freya, her pride and joy, after getting the reserve champion rosette. That`s my mother-in-law seated next to them. Bless her she sat through the entire show, juggling collars, papers, ribbons and cans of pop like a goat show pro!

Miss also won this blanket for grabbing the Best Overall Doe in the junior show.

She also placed fairly well in her group classes of Best Three Females and Best Doe Bred by Exhibitor, although if my life depended on it I couldn`t tell you guys what placing she got. She was showing her group class at the same time a girlfriend of mine was showing her four Get of Sires ( Three does from the same sire for non-goatherders) so I was running around trying to tug goats in the ring to aid my buddy. It was pretty funny actually. She would run up and shove two or three goats and me and anyone else with a spare hand, and into the ring we would run! Then we`d all dash out and have more goats shoved at us!

That`s just one of the fun things about fair I enjoy, kids and adults alike chipping in to help each other if needed. Also fair week is just one of those staples of rural living you know? Most of the kids here show something and so we adults get to catch up with folks we haven`t seen in awhile. Although there is one thing at the fair that I don`t care for-the smell of all that fried food! Oh my gosh, I about went into a grease withdrawal smelling all those glorious aromas on the air. I tried to behave and only had a foot-long hot dog with cheese for lunch but even that slapped me pretty badly with reflux. It really stinks to have ARD at times. I miss being able to enjoy foods I used to love, but, I suppose skipping all that grease isn`t a bad thing, right? Danged French fries sure looked good though.

Now that our hard work is done all that remains is the running back and forth to feed, water and milk every day. I just got back from the morning trip and Mister will stop on the way home from work to milk and tug our daughter home for dinner and chores. Thankfully the fair grounds are only about fifteen minutes away from home and no bridges are closed! Woo-Hoo! Thanks PennDot! Guess since we have our cuppa drank and the fair chat done I had best slug my way back to the washer and toss in a load, then maybe take a nap! Or read a book and have another cuppa.

Heck, maybe I`ll do all three!!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Proper Way to Crumble Crackers

Howdy y`all, tug out a seat and have a fresh cup of coffee!

It`s funny how the most mundane things will trigger a memory isn`t it? The other night I was sitting over my bowl of chicken noodle soup (Canned since I had spent most of the day writing…I mean cleaning) and I began to crush a handful of round snack crackers into my Campbell`s. I had a sort of mental snort as I dusted off my hands as I recalled an episode from my past. This memory stars my mother and my grandmother and I think exemplifies that wonderful and absolutely crazy mother/daughter relationship. At least the wacky way it runs in my family. I come from a long line of rather intense and somewhat absurd women. I say that with great pride make no mistake. Many of you may not know this but we women of Slavic descent are a rugged, stubborn and rather humorous batch of females!

I`m a fourth generation gal of Huschuk descent and my daughter carries the feminine line onward. Now of course all that stubbornness and determination comes out in all aspects of life. My mother was about as rock-headed as a woman could be. If she said the sky was green then you had best peek out the window and agree or she would argue you up one side and down the other until, in exhaustion, you would weakly give it up and agree that the sky was indeed green.

That tenacity she got from my grand-mother. Both were Helen`s but my mother always went by her middle name of Francis, or just Fran. Every year my mom and my step-dad would make a trip out to Clairton, a small suburb of Pittsburgh, to visit my grand-mother. It was also known as ‘The Yearly Pilgrimage’ as my step-dad would call it or ‘The Trip to Hell’ as my mother would coin it. Uh-huh, you can see how things were. You put two bullheaded women in the same small row-house for three days and things are going to get interesting. In order to ensure that Clairton remained standing no visit was allowed to linger over three days. Some sort of city ordinance or something I think. Add into the mix a couple of great aunts that liked nothing better than to stick a branch into the buzzing bee`s nest that was my mom and grandma sharing an abode. There was never a dull visit in Clairton rest assured!

But for some reason that escapes me one summer my grandma decided she wanted to come out to my mother`s house. Mom was skeptical but accepting and within a week my step-dad (God bless his patient and weary soul) made the drive from Middlebury to Clairton to fetch my grandma. By this time I was married to Mister and had a wee one on the way so darn it, I missed quite a bit of the festivities. My mother though made sure I was well-informed with whispering calls made from the upstairs phone daily. They would go like this-

Me-*Picking up phone* Hello?

Mom-“Do you want to know what YOUR grandmother said today?!”

Me-“She`s related to you as well mom.”

Mom-“Don`t remind me! Can you believe she said my windowsills were tacky?!”

Me-“How can windowsills be tacky? Who even looks at windowsill that closely?

Mom-“Your grandmother!”

And so another salvo would be launched. Trying to be a good kid I went over one day for lunch, hoping that my presence would calm the snarling and snipping women. It worked for awhile. My grandmother fussed and frittered about me and my pregnant state. Then we sat down to eat. My step-dad was absent, smart man that he is, claiming he needed to get a haircut. That was the longest haircut in the history of known civilization but I digress….

So there we three sat, about to dig into a big pot of my mother`s home-made chicken noodle soup. Unfortunately my youngest brother decided to mosey in at this time, and not having the haircut excuse, was forced…I mean invited to share lunch with three women of the same bloodlines. No wonder the man has yet to marry.

We chatted amiably for a spell, and even though I could see my mother watching my grandmother running an assessing eye on the corners for cobwebs nothing erupted. Until my brother reached for a handful of saltines to crumble into his soup (Insert ominous music here)

“Amos,” my grandmother said as he ground the crackers between his two hands over his bowl. His lip wanted to climb up since he hated being called by his first name. We always called him Chuck, after his middle name of Charles. Fortunately for him his upper lip stayed in place and he only flinched slightly. “That is not the proper way to crumble crackers in your soup.”

“What do you mean?” my mother asked. I sipped at some broth and remained quiet as the war hounds brayed in the distance.”Is there a right and wrong way to crumble crackers in your soup?”

“Well of course there is Francis,” grandma replied. “You take one cracker and break it gently in half then get another one. Look at all the crumbs he made on the tablecloth.”

“Maybe he doesn`t want to sit here until the soup is cold breaking one cracker at a time into his soup,” my mother stated. Chuck and I began to wonder where the air-raid shelter would be in an old farmhouse.

“Well maybe if you had taught him to break his crackers the right way when he was a child he wouldn`t be such a messy cracker crumbler now.”

Where the hell were the Civil Defense helmets when a person really needed them I wondered? I readied myself to dive under the table to avoid the fallout. Chuck just sat there with cracker dust on his palms and a stupefied look on his face. Poor males, they don`t stand a chance do they?

“Maybe I don`t give a tinkers damn about a few cracker crumbs on the table MOTHER!”

At this moment in time my step-father sauntered in, his head freshly buzzed down to the wood as he likes to say, another innocent victim of the mother/daughter holocaust in the making.

“Well maybe if you did your windowsills wouldn`t be so tacky FRANCIS!”

Due to my trying to not describe anything overly violent or gruesome or over a PG-13 in this here blog I won`t go into any of the horrors that occurred that day. Suffice it to say that my step-dad learned to always peek through the window to see if there was a mushroom cloud visible before entering the house. My brother did not ever become a one cracker-crumbler and to this day I think he has nightmares about saltines and chicken noodle soup. And I had learned the most important lesson a woman can learn-Never get cracker crumbs on another woman`s tablecloth.

Monday, August 1, 2011

The South Shall Rise Again!

And boy howdy this Yankee is sure glad it rose up with a rocking beat!

Morning all, come on in and take a load off. I`m sitting here sipping my umpteenth cup of java, trying to get my rump in gear after spending last night rocking my goatherding butt off at the long anticipated ZZ Top and Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Man, it was a lot easier to dance for four hours when I was sixteen I will admit, but even though my rump may be dragging due to boogie-woogie southern Rock fever and a severe lack of sleep, it was all worth it.

Last night turned out to be a gorgeous night after rain had come and gone during the morning and afternoon. We arrived at Tag`s, a huge outdoor concert arena in Big Flats New York, with our chairs and an umbrella and a great deal of anticipation and some slight concern. A couple people had told us that ZZ Top had been a pretty poor show when they had seen them previously.

The place was packed and it was announced right before Skynyrd took the stage that the crowd there was the largest gathering at Tag`s to date. I don`t know how many folks were there but it was mobbed, and yet, the atmosphere was light and filled with good nature. There were quite a few rockers of my generation in attendance, and I was very pleased to see, a good deal of younger fans as well. There is hope for the upcoming generations my friends, Justin Beiber be damned!

Skynyrd came out first and absolutely blew the roof off the stage! They ripped through every song any fan would want to hear, from ‘Simple Man’ which they dedicated to our troops to ‘Gimme Three Steps’ to the awe inspiring finale of ‘Free Bird.’ I can now die a happy woman having heard Free Bird being played live and witnessing that famous pair of fuzzy white guitars that came later.

ZZ stepped out on the stage and I whispered to Miss Yodeling, who was rocking herself into a frenzy, that I couldn`t imagine anyone could follow ‘Free Bird’. Well, those old beard-wearing sons-of-a-guns handled it with as much spit, polish and blues funk as any mortal could. They ripped through a couple of blues tunes, played as only ZZ could, then blasted the crowd with such famous hits as ‘Legs’, ‘Cheap Sunglasses’, ‘Sharp Dressed Man’ and my favorite ZZ tune ‘La Grange.’ I can say wholeheartedly that the threesome put on one hell of a show!

Of course by the time ZZ wrapped it was eleven o`clock and even Miss was feeling a bit tired. We rolled into the old homestead around midnight, still chatting about the show, and dropped into bed. Mister then had to get up at three and I can imagine he is one drag-ass puppy at work today. I myself am moving none too quickly to be honest. I think helping Miss with clipping the last goat for fair next week will wait until tomorrow. For today, I just might toss in a load of clothes, sit back and listen to a bit more southern rock, work on the book and try not to nod off in my cuppa!