Friday, April 30, 2010

From Feral`s Front Porch

Every job goes better with supervision so the saying goes!

This is Mister Yodeling and our new sable doeling Calliope. The two of them were making a check of our fencing. 3 kids had managed to slip through somewhere in the course of one day! I had to wonder if she was tattle-telling as they swept the perimeter!

'And one went through here....and here.....and here.....'

They did find the escape route I`m glad to say because those kids are too darn fast for a goatherder with such short legs to catch! They also managed to find Bianca`s missing collar.

Another farm mystery solved!!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

New from Feral-Co!!

Hello friends! Feral Female here and I have a question for you.

Have you ever wished that you had some way to carry those bottles of milk down to your goat kids that didn`t require the use of your hands? Well the people at Feral-Co. have come up with a solution! That`s right! For a limited time you can purchase this revolutionary new product for only $9.95!

$9.95 you say? Yes! For only $9.95 you can own the Labra-Carrier! Whether you have a single bottle to tote……

Or a trio....

This fantastic new carrier will be that spare pair of hands you`ve always dreamed about!

So call now, operators are standing by! And as an added bonus if you call in the next fifteen minutes we`ll toss in Feral-Co`s new Rack-A-Kid feeding system for free!! Feed three kids at once! Cuts feeding time in half and who doesn`t want more time to spend forking manure?!

The Rack-A-Kid can be used in conjunction with the Labra-Carrier system! So call now and find that ease that all goatherder`s search for with the Labra-Carrier!! Only from the feral minds at Feral-Co!!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

One Liners-4/25

'Can you make her move over a little more PLEASE??'

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Phooey on goats!!

Yes that`s right fans of fabulous felines, I typed it and I mean it!! Lu-Lu here at the ladies laptop while she feeds those little blatting attention grabbers!

Over the past four weeks I`ve seen some very disturbing things going on around here. Things that don`t seem to ruffle the dogs fur but they sure do mine. And you know how much we cats dislike having our fur ruffled! Ever since the first one of those goat kid things has arrived my people have been ignoring me. I know, it shocks me too since I am rather glorious to behold. But the proof is in the Kit-N-Kaboodle as we kitties like to say.

Just count the recent blog entries that yodeling lady has posted lately. Go ahead and count them, I`ll just lick my paws until you return. Do you see the discrepancies?! I only had one measly chance to talk about that invisible dog which I still think exists even if humans seem to think it`s me. Silly humans!

Those bottle sucking goat kids are cutting into my attention time seriously! Shouldn`t a cat get more loving and petting than a goat?! What gets into my humans brains? Have they been smoking my catnip? Now I wouldn`t want you people to think that I actually WANT loving and petting because I do not. Cats are known for their icy demeanor, unlike some foolish mutts who even help down at that place they call the goat barn!*Shudders*

It has nothing to do with craving affection. It is more a matter of my humans knowing what a treasure they have residing in this sleek feline form. I`ve spent a great deal of time watching the goatherders playing with those little caprine glory-hogs, from a distance of course! They seem to be enraptured with the running around those kids do, and how they leap into their laps and lick their faces. Why I think those little beasts are dogs in goat clothing!

I have taken it upon myself to try to make sure I get my fair share of attention. I have devised a new nighttime game called ‘Hang from the kitchen cupboards’. It does seem to get me the attention I deserve but it’s not the attention I seek. Not that I seek their attention I`ll remind you again.

I also thought that since they seem so happy to run down to that stinky barn in the middle of the night, the man and the goofy woman shouldn`t mind getting up when I knock the boxes of glass jars for the recycle place to the floor at midnight. I was mistaken in that assumption, but it did get me some attention. If one counts having a slipper thrown at you that some inane dog then carries around in their mouth…I don`t know how I manage I tell you!

So if you other humans can stop saying how cute and sweet those smelly goat kids are I would appreciate it! Oh! And comment a lot on how smart and pretty and svelte I am after you read this! If this doesn`t work I`m going to have to think of something even more devious to get their adoration back…yes adoration. Now that word is really the cat’s meow!

Yours in devilment-


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

One Liners-4/20

Complete Caprine Contentment.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

You grab a rod and I`ll grab a pole honey!

We`ll go down to the crawdad hole honey baby mine!!

Finally the first day of trout season in Pennsylvania has arrived! Yesterday dawned gray and cold with rain mixed with snow but did that dampen our spirits? Heck no! We are stout and avid anglers we goatherders. Also we had all gotten up early to ensure we were creek-side (Pronounced crick here in the hills) come 8 AM.

That was no problem for Mister Yodeling and me but Miss Yodeling had quite the case of the dreaded zombie shuffle. Eventually she came around and soon we two lady anglers were all dolled up and ready to wet our worms!

This is the little native brook trout stream that runs past the back of my mother-in-laws house and alongside the dirt road that our driveway meets.

Here`s our homemade egg sign that sits beside the road so if y`all are ever searching for fresh eggs at a dollar a dozen look for the bright orange sign!

We generally begin at the school bus turnaround and work our way up to Ma`s house.

This is a deer trail that we found coming down from the woods to the creek, it was overcast and snowing so the shot is a wee darker than I would have liked.

We also got to hear the sound of our state bird, the ruffed grouse, as we walked and fished several holes.

The male grouse drums with his wings seeking a mate and it reverberates through the wood with a sound much like an engine starting. It`s very cool to hear and very distinct.

You know, being surrounded by nature is just one of the things I enjoy about fishing. Spending time with Mister and Miss Yodeling and pitting our superior wits against the inhabitants of stream and pond of course is the top reason. Also eating what we catch for dinner is another reason for our whole family loves fresh fillet of trout! By the looks of my frying pan though our wits were outwitted by the brookies fish wits.

*Frowns at mental image of trout snickering behind its fin*

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Beautiful Blogger Award

I tell ya, this blogging community is just jam-packed with wonderfully sweet people!

Not too long ago Kritter Keeper over at Farm Tails was gracious enough to bestow this award to me and I thank her most kindly! She really does have a delightful blog and I encourage anyone who hasn`t done so yet to stop on in and visit for a spell, you won`t be sorry!

Now the stipulations of this beautiful award are as follows-

You have to thank the person who gave you the award. Check.

You need to add a link to the person who gave you the award. Check.

Paste award on blog. Check.

List 10 things about yourself......

I got to pondering over this as I enjoyed a wonderful Columbian treat that millions the world over-Coffee!! I meant coffee! Sheesh, I best be careful or I`ll have the DEA swarming all over the place like ants at a picnic! Since I share this blog with our critters and they really are the stars of the show, I decided to go to them and let them reveal some deep, dark secrets about themselves.

True Barnyard Confessions…..I can almost see it on the magazine rack right next to the National Tattler in the grocery checkout line!

1-Trinity the black lab-Not many people know this but I have an oral fixation. Socks, shoes, kid bottles, cat toys, gloves, X-Box game manuals……it doesn`t matter what it is, if it`s within reach of my jowls I just have to carry it around! Once I even picked up a pencil and I don`t have any thumbs to write with!!! I think I need lab rehab.

2-Tinker the beagle-Okay since we`re all revealing things about ourselves I`ll open up too. See the REAL reason I chew and lick my feet for hours on end isn`t because they taste good. It`s because I get such a charge out of the expressions of the humans when they sit down on the huge, but well hidden, wet spot my meandering tongue leaves on the sofa!!

3-Pietro the splash Silky rooster-Yes it is true. I am a midnight crower. So what? Can`t a rooster crow at the moon too?? Is there some law against nocturnal crowing?!?!? Stop judging me!!!

4-Bubba J. the Holstein steer-A cowfession?? Is that like a cowlick?

5-Patty the Hereford steer-Sometimes I stare at the side of the barn so long I forget what I was think----

6-Random tame turkey- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Confessions eat turkeys!!! Everything eats turkeys!! FLEE!! FLEE!!! Run into the walls and fence until the questions stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7-Lenny the Gander-Yeh see, this whole confession thing see, it`s not kosher see? Figure you`re out to frame me see? We`ll I ain`t talkin` see! You ain`t getting` nottin` outta me copper! I ain`t no stool pigeon!! (Note from confession jotterdowner-Imagine previous confession spoken in James Cagney voice while gander flips quarter in air and chews on toothpick. I seriously think someone spiked my coffee.)

8-Poe the yellow lab-Sometimes I think-Was that a squirrel?????? Sometimes I think I may have a slight case of obsessive-Was that a squirrel???????????? Sometimes I think I may have a slight case of-Was that a squirrel??????????????????

9-Anakin the Nubian buck-Love child??? I haven`t the slightest idea of –Okay! Okay! I did it!! It was me!! I couldn`t help it! She was so beautiful and so flirtatious…it…it just happened okay?! But I swear on my mother`s udder I had no idea Jennifer had been betrothed to another buck! STOP BADGERING ME!!!!

10-Lu-Lu the cat-I have nothing to confess to. Confession means I did something I feel badly about. Can you not see the halo above my perfectly pointed feline ears???? Now move along woman and let me nap before the claws come out!

List ten things about yourself. Check. Sort of…..

And the final prerequisite is to pass the award onto 10 other blogs. Can do! If any of you have received this award already or simply don`t wish to participate that`s cool as a radish with me! Here we go-

Tails and Tales

The Simple Life

Small Farm Girl


From my Front Porch in the Mountains

For the love of dogs

A Farm Wife’s Life

A City Chicken Farm

Flat Creek Farm

Fleeting History

All the above are wonderful blogs that I have found to be very entertaining and enjoyable and very much deserving of this loverly award!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

From Feral`s Front Porch

Is there anything that soothes the soul more than slipping between sheets dried on a warm spring breeze??

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Photo Tag

It looks as if I`m it!

Last week my dear friend Houndstooth tagged me over in her blog Tails and Tales to play along in this game. Since my legs are too short to catch up with her I could not tag her back. Such is the life of a Hobbit goat-farmer. *Sighs and wiggles bare toes*

The object of this game is to go to your first photo file and post the 10th picture in it. Now most folks I reckon will have various shots of their family and their pets, vacations and maybe one embarrassing shot of Cousin Cletus from last year’s family reunion. I too have those kinds of pictures, well minus the one of Cousin Cletus since we have no Cletus` in our family….although we do have a Wilbur but I digress.

Anydoodles I went back to my first album and counted back ten. If I were a woman more prone to blushing I would be crimson cheeked at the moment but blushing has long since passed it seems. Once I bought my first purple shirt I accepted the fact that only the hot flashes would tint my cheeks rosily.

To that end and simply because I like pretty things here is my tenth photo from my first album…..

Yes, that is indeed Ironman.

My inner comic geek screams in joy as once again my appreciation for Marvel men comes to light. If I recall properly this is a cover from one of Tony`s runs that was written by Jon Favreau, the man who directs the Ironman movies. *Falls to knees in supplication at Jon`s feet* It was called ‘Viva Las Vegas’ and I think it only had four issues and the arc was never completed. Which is a shame since anytime you toss Ironman into Vegas and add Fin-Fang-Foom the dragon it`s bound to be a hoot AND a nanny!

This one was between a fine picture of Remy LeBeau and Robert Downey Jr. in a tank-top from the Ironman movie. As I said, I like pretty things. I think Ryan Reynolds was above this minus his shirt…*Drifts off*

Onto the second part of the picture tag game before I drift off into yet another caffeine-fueled fantasy about trying to find a spandex suit to fit one of us from the Shire. I`m supposed to tag five other blogs and since y`all are here and I can catch you, here are the five that are now tagged. (If you wish to participate then please do, if not that`s ducky too!)

Granny`s Best

The Pugs Strike Back

Farm Tails

Cow Patty Surprise

Spring Lake Farm

Now I must be off, I have a sudden urge to tie a sheet around my neck and seek out evil-doers….or Ryan Reynolds!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Leave it to animals......

… make you look a fool!

*Ignores the smarty-pants comment from Mister Yodeling* Have you ever noticed how gifted critters are when it comes to showing us how little we really know? Most generally I like to pride myself on how clever I am and how far above the animals I care for my intelligence soars. I mean if I had no more smarts than say our turkeys, I`d be in a kettle of trouble! So yeah, I guess I may be a bit egocentric about being smarter than our charges. It does stand to reason then that when I allow my head to get inflated some darn animal will come along and show me, and the world, that I ain`t quite as smart as I thought.


Exhibit A

I have owned waterfowl for many years. One would reason then that I had a fraction of skill in determining if my birds be boys or if they be girls. One would reason also that having these geese for close to five years and reading about their breed, which is Pilgrim although they`re not stellar examples, I should be able to sex them by feathering. The gander`s are supposed to be white (mine are rather mottled) and the geese are dark gray (which mine seem to be.)

So it came as a rather rude slap to the kisser with a goose wing when I discovered what I had assumed to be a gander the other morning doing this….

Uh-huh. Now unless I missed something over the years I`m thinking boys don`t lay eggs.


Exhibit B

Onto Jennifer, our lovely sable doe who we made sure, sure, sure and sure once more to be doubly sure was bred to a sable buck. If y`all recall the ‘Love Train’ post about taking her and Miss Yodeling`s LaMancha doe across town you will recall that Jennifer was in fact bred to my friend`s robust and handsome sable buck. At least this is what we all assumed had happened.

We were beginning to think Jennifer was having the longest pregnancy known to goatdom. According to our charts Jennifer was bred a full week before Bianca our LaMancha doe. Bianca kidded two weeks plus ago. Now math has never been my strong suit as Miss Yodeling can attest to…..

‘Mom can you help me with my algebra homework?’

‘That isn`t math. Math has numbers and English has letters. What sick kind of person puts letters with numbers?!’

So back to Jennifer.That means that we brought her home and in our wisdom about all things animal put her back in with the Nubians and Anakin. Yup. Yesterday Jennifer presented me with a Snubian.

I have discussed this transgression with both Jennifer and Anakin but both have remained tight-lipped. I suppose it IS tacky to kiss and tell. This fine robust fellow is named Ares. Ares the Snubian.*Sighs*


So there it is…. proof positive that critters can, and do whenever possible, like to make me look foolish.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Birthday Booty!!

Arrggghhhh! Set sail for Tortuga and no-one touch me jar of dirt!!!

Sorry for that outburst of pirate talk. I was up at 3 this morning after Mister Yodeling gave me a shake and informed me that Mallory was kidding. I may have to set up an intravenous line of coffee to get me through, so if I sound a bit slap-happy, or slap-happier as the case may be, do bear with me gang!

Anydoodles, I thought I`d share my b-day booty with y`all. I have to admit I made out darn well! Mister brought dinner home and then presented me with the following items-

I had to laugh when I opened the DVD package and saw ‘The men who state at goats’! Talk about apropos! And hey what girl wouldn`t be happy to get George Cloony for their birthday?? I like pretty things and he is surely that! Also I got some new shirts which are always needed since most of mine have iodine and/or Blue-Coat stains. And a gift certificate to our local bookstore just in time for J. R. Ward`s new novel at the end of the month! *Does happy goatherder dance*

Also of note are the two boxes of turkey shells he purchased. Must be he expects me to miss. A lot. Well, he has seen me shoot before so I`ll give him that one. To round out the booty were some new fishing lures and a box full of rubber worms, just in time for trout to open here in PA! I am set lemme tell ya! Now if I can only catch the fish and hit the turkeys I`ll be doing something.

Also yesterday my grand dame Fawn gifted me with twins who are named Achilles and Artemis.(Achilles is the one standing.)

Since she is quite the old gal after I went down for my usual after-lunch check I noticed she was off by herself and acting oddly. So the afternoon was spent with her and my spicy romance novel until she delivered her kids without incident. Mom and babies are doing fine.

This is a rather blurry shot of the two does that came at 3 this morning. I`m going to blame the poor quality photograph on my zombie state and the lack of java in my bloodstream and hope someone buys that excuse.

We`ve yet to come up with names for these two girls but I`m sure once I get enough I.V. Folgers flowing something will pop up, let`s just hope it`s not something out of left field.

So with a sluggish wave of my Nubian coffee mug I shall lay in a course for the Caribbean, or my couch, whichever I manage to find first.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Is it a bad omen when you wake up to this on your birthday??

Knew I should have named one of the buck kids Thor! Who knew gods were so jealous?!

Monday, April 5, 2010

3 Day Weekends

Hi gang! Hope your holiday weekend was a joyous one. Pull up a chair and let me pour you a cup!

Things here on the hillside farm were just bustling over our long weekend. It seems that no matter how many days off we have, there still isn`t enough time to get Mister Yodeling`s To-Do list done. Maybe if I stopped adding things to it that may help. *Winks* Poor man gets one job crossed off and two more take its place. That`s spring on a farm though, there`s lots to do after winter finally decides to give it up.

I am happy to report that my dad found himself an apartment. He is one of those folks who just hates to impose on anyone, not that him staying here was any imposition in my eyes but it was in his. Good Friday was spent getting Pop moved into his new digs and then trying to get him situated.

You know how I say everything in life is a learning experience? Well I have learned something crucial about men. You`d think at my age there would be little I didn`t know about men. Well, you`d think wrong. I have learned that what men need to be happy in a home and what women need to be happy are as far apart as the musical styling’s of Conway Twitty and Rob Zombie.

I tend to like things to look at on my walls and things to sit around on my tables, shelves and whatever empty space is available. Knick-knacks and bric-a-brac and yes even Marvel comic action figures occupy my home. I am also fond of drapes. Apparently men have little use for such things, or so Pop informed me as I began to run my list of what he requires for his new bachelor pad past him.

Since he is much older than me and I didn`t feel like getting into a lengthy discussion about the need for drapes that match the wallpaper, or drapes period, I simply committed his needs list to memory and will arrive at his apartment with the required items and put them up. Much as I do in my own home. Mister has long ago given up asking why I need another chicken statue that I then complain about having to dust. It`s a girl thing guys, don`t even try to understand, just nod politely.

Friday evening we went uptown and saw ‘Clash of the Titans’ in our local theatre. We don`t have 3-D so I was rather bummed about not getting those funky 3-D glasses but it was a fun movie even without the paper specs. Are they paper anymore?? I don`t know, they could be some fancy high-tech polymer composite made by some mega-conglomerate 3-D spectacle company! I need to get off this hill more often I guess.

Saturday I did the laundry that needed done and then set into helping Mister Yodeling lime and fertilize our pastures. Nothing like a wafting cloud of lime to really say spring is there?? Lord knows our pasture needs all the help it can get. Wild strawberries grow with wild abandon all over our fields!

We had all intentions of doing this job with the Kubota, but once we saw the bog that is our front pasture we opted to do it by hand. And yup, those are my Muck boots beside the bucket of 15-15-15. I can`t imagine a better make of chore boots than the one`s Muck makes!

Of course every job goes better with supervision.*Rolls eyes*

Sunday of course was spent tidying up the homestead and preparing Easter dinner. Pop and Ma, my mother-in-law and of course her dog Patches, came up. After dinner and naps we then we ran over to visit some goaty girlfriends of mine to check out their new kids. They`re due to stop over here tomorrow to browse my buck kids and drink coffee.For those in the city it`s kind of like going window shopping for clothes, where you Oooo and Ahhh and admire the pretty things, except we caprine breeders substitute goat kids for Prada bags!

Sometimes you DO come home with something even when you didn`t intend to though…

Yeah I know, like we needed another goat right? But she needed a home and I mean, just look at her!! She has no name which funny enough is what my girlfriend called her-Goat with No Name-so if anyone has any suggestions for a Greek inspired name for a sable doeling fire away!!I`ll try to get better pictures of her, she is a ball of energy and wouldn`t hold still for a good snapshot.I probably should have just bought a Prada bag, it would only require my wallet and my keys and it would be happy.

But then again a Prada bag can`t snuggle with you or chew your hair or give you those sweet kid kisses can it?

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Happy Easter!

From our farm to yours!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Any better way...... spend a beautiful spring day then playing with goat kids???

I can`t think of a one!