Tuesday, August 7, 2012

I`ve Just Seen a Simile

Yes, I have seen that famous lead balloon, or, if you`re an old rocker like me, a lead zeppelin sounds so much cooler. If only this sighting would have had Robert Plant sashaying around my living-room in those too tight jeans he wore. Or Jimmy Page sitting on my couch, playing lead guitar as only Mr. Page could. Sadly, it wasn`t quite as rocking and rolling as it could have been, but it was still something to see.

I bet you all are barely able to remain in your seats, you`re so full of anticipation. ‘How can I see a lead zeppelin too, Vicki?’ ‘I want to see a simile as well, Vicki!’ I wager you`re saying. Well, I`ll share the trick with you, my blogging buddies. If you too wish to see this sight, simply start talking to your teenage child (male or female works, I don`t think this is gender specific) about that most dreaded of words – responsibility.

The sub-topic can be varied, no worries. It can be about being responsible about their job, their chores, the amount of time spent with their boyfriend/girlfriend in relation to their work/time at home, or their school work. It won`t really matter, just as long as you sprinkle the word ‘responsible’ into the conversation. You can use different words if you wish. Accountable will work as will dependable, conscientious, mature, trustworthy, sensible, and reliable.

It is truly magic. Honestly, I would not lie to you. Try it and see. Just take your teenager, sit them down, and try to share your years of life and how it works to them. You may think you`re not getting through, what with all the eye rolls and attitude directed at your words of wisdom, but the magical dirigible will appear.

Just utter any of the above mentioned words within a fifty foot circle of a human aged twelve to twenty. You will be awed and amazed, when before your eyes, the discussion you and your child are engaged in transforms into a heavy floating airship!

Once the zeppelin crashes and burns on your kitchen table you will then feel a need to find the nearest wall and thump your forehead to it - numerous times – while your teen will huff back to their room. This is a normal reaction to the occurrence and nothing to fear. As the adult, you may also be spurred to go listen to heavy rock from the late sixties/early seventies as you try to understand how the magic happened to you. This is also perfectly normal behavior. Now that I`ve shared the wonder of how to make a lead zeppelin appear, I must be off.

I have a crushing need to listen to ‘Immigrant Song’ while I scrub the burn marks off the kitchen table.

1 comment:

Jim said...

Hilarious! If I had a teenager I would give this approach a go!!