Sunday, June 10, 2012

Really, Coffeepot?!





I mean, REALLY?! *Throttles coffeemaker then pushes BREW button with anger*


The above violent scene is a recreation of words and actions that occurred at precisely 5:32 AM this morning. Please rest assured that although there was a brief moment of appliance garroting, no coffeemakers were harmed (Got to cover your bases nowadays, there could be a fanatical group out there that will throw paint on me for harming a kitchen appliance) although one was shaken quite severely.

Generally, I`m a rather placid person, not inclined to angry outbursts but there are a few things that knot my knickers.

Getting my groceries out of the car at home, only to have the bottom rip out of those flimsy recycled plastic bags and seeing my food hit the dirt driveway. By the time I`ve gathered up the rolling cans from the goat pasture and tugged the loaf of bread from my ‘Helping-Hand’ dog Trinity`s mouth, I`m in a fine, frothy lather.

Another thing that prods my goat is when someone continues to ask me questions that I do not have the answer to AFTER I have already informed said person that ‘I don`t know.’ Mister is a prime offender of this goat-prodding behavior at times. If I said, ten minutes ago, that I don`t know why that little box came up on the computer after you tried to upload game camera pictures, I still won`t know when you ask for the seventeenth time. Please stop putting forth that query, because I haven`t been blessed with a jolt of technological inspiration since the last time you asked, thank you my beloved husband.

Telemarketers also stir my hornets’ nest. Thank goodness for Caller I.D., is all I have to say. Now I can ignore Mr. Unknown Name when he calls me during Sunday dinner.

So yeah, those are a few things that rankles me, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will whip my meringue stiffer than slugging out in the morning and discovering that the power has flickered off during the night, leaving my coffeemaker sitting there empty and cold to taunt me. And it has to be just a flicker because every darned clock in the house is right. All I ask is to have that pot waiting for me, filled to the rim with my zombie cure juice. Is that asking too much, I ask you?? Does the squirrel that ran over the electric line realize how difficult it is to reprogram a coffeemaker without coffee in your veins?! Probably not since squirrels are notorious coffee-haters.

Wow that felt rather cathartic to release all that pent-up ire at coffeemakers, plastic bags and rodents that disdain my sacred java! I think the day will proceed brilliantly now that the sludge of anger at my coffeepot has been released. Thank you for your support of a goatherding meltdown. Anytime any of you have an empty coffeemaker in the morning, feel free to vent on my blog. We`ll all be shaking, vacant-eyed folks cussing like Yosemite Sam at our Mr. Coffee, Black & Decker or Melitta coffeepots.



Or maybe we`ll just cuss out squirrels….





A loud yodel of welcome to Karen Buzzell! Howdy, Karen, and thanks for stopping in to visit the resident crazies here on the hillside farm.







27 comments:

TexWisGirl said...

yup. need that cup - or 4. :)

S. J. Q. said...

You would think the makers of coffee makers would have a battery back-up just like the alarm clocks...

S.M. Boyce said...

I vote we cuss out the squirrels. I like that option best.

Texan said...

snicker snicker, step away from the coffee pot ROFL ROFL... no really I am with ya on needing that cup first thing in the morning! I love a good morning run ya know BUT not before I have coffee!

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