I have to wonder exactly what it is that I do when I`m….oh you naughty folks! This isn`t a post about canoodling! That would blow my PG-13 rating into smithereens!
No, what I`m wondering is what exactly happens in my bed after I go to sleep. I seem to wake up every morning looking like I slept standing on my head. I don’t think I`m able to do that. Since I can`t stand on my head when I`m awake, I can`t imagine I can do it while asleep. I`ve questioned my husband about this and he swears he is not standing me on my head during the night. Yet, every morning I awaken, trudge into the bathroom and find a Polish rooster looking back at me.
Figuratively of course, not literally, since keeping a rooster in the bathroom would be as odd as having a turkey in the kitchen. *Ignores Wheatley chasing Lu-Lu under the kitchen table*I have my doubts about Mister`s innocence but, since I don`t have proof, I have to give him the benefit.
Also, there seems to be a wedge thief in our house. This thief does not take my foam wedge far. It only seems to be lying on the floor next to my bed with a black lab resting upon it. Again, I don`t know how my foam wedge is moved out from under my head as I rest. I need that wedge to keep my darn GRD from getting flamboyant overnight. We did try elevating the head of the bed but Mister Yodeling didn`t enjoy the sensation of having his head three inches above his feet. I don`t know why when his head is six feet above his head during the day. *Shrugs*
Then there is the perplexing situation with the blanket. As I`ve told y`all before I`m a hot sleeper. Oh yeah, she is one hot goatherder! SIZZLE! Actually what I was referring to is how I`m Madame Toaster and I sleep with Mister Frigidaire. When I crawl into my bed at night, I carefully fold the blanket down. This way only my toes have extra covering while the rest of me is happy under a sheet! The Midnight Prankster must enjoy covering hot women up because sure as shooting, I wake up during the night, minus my wedge of course and with my hair in that awkward Polish rooster doo, with the blanket up to my chin.
So, not only is someone standing me on my head in the wee hours, they are also slipping my wedge out from under me and recovering me. Whoever this nocturnal sneak is, they`re good! I never see or hear them but the proof of their nightly escapades is darned obvious. I may set up some sort of Rube Goldberg device to catch the person making me have chicken hair. If I do, I`ll keep you informed so you can rest easily knowing this dastardly doer of mischief has been apprehended and your hair is safe.