Thursday, March 17, 2011

World`s Largest Leprechaun


It was with a very unceremonious dump from his sleeping place that C.B. the cow barn rooster was awoken on a chilly March morning. He took a moment to clear the sleep from his eyes and glanced around the barn. Using a wing to rub at his sleepy peepers he stared out into the pasture. Morning was just beginning to tint the sky with soft shades of pink and blue and purple. He yawned widely, covering his beak with his wing then padded softly to the doorway, taking care not to disturb his lovely hens as they snoozed in the rafters. It was hard but he kept his crow in his manly chest.

His yellow feet were already feeling the loss of a warm bovine under them. Also, the rooster noted with distaste, he had stepped right into a very cold cow patty! Where and perhaps more importantly, WHY had his toasty warm cow bed moved he wondered as he scanned the muddy pasture? As he rubbed his foot in the clean bedding he searched and searched. Finally he located the Hereford standing beside his tub of water, staring at his reflection.

“Good morning Sir Patrick of Moo!” the bantam rooster crowed. An upset wife clucked down at him and he dropped his finely feathered head quickly in shame.”And may I add happy birthday!” the rooster whispered and carefully made his way to his enormous friend and barn-mate.

“Good morning,” the red and white beefer lowed, never taking his big brown eyes from the water tub.”And thank you kindly,” the cow added and continued to stare.

C.B. stepped closer to a hoof the size of his entire body and peeked delicately into the clean water. He could see nothing beside a dead leaf that the blustery March wind had dropped into the drinking container.

“You`re more than welcome,” the rooster replied then took a very small drink to clear his throat.

Another crow threatened but he tamped it down lest his ladies wake up grumpy. A man did not wish to have thirteen wives all grumpy simultaneously! And heaven forbid the two that were setting eggs in the wall were to be awoken before noon! Surely the life of a rooster was plagued with difficulty he sighed.

As he tipped his head back to swallow he saw that the Hereford had somehow managed to get a wad of hay stuck to his head. C.B. tipped his head this way and that. The sun had yet to climb high enough to afford perfect vision but despite that he could plainly see something on the cows head!

Perhaps he should point it out the rooster wondered. It would look most foolish for a cow to parade around with a glob of hay attached to his head all day! The geese would certainly point it out. Geese were notorious for making much ado about nothing!

“Excuse me good Sir Patrick of Moo but you have a little something,” the rooster said and motioned to his own head with his wing.

“I know,” the cow replied slowly still entranced with his own image in the water tub.

“Ah,” C.B. said in reply, greatly puzzled but trying to remain courteous.”Are you perhaps adorning yourself because today is your birthday?”

“No,” Patty said torpidly,” This is my leprechaun hat.”

“I see,” the rooster said but he didn`t see at all to be frank!

“I`m waiting for the pot of gold to appear so that I can guard it,” the Hereford added.

Well that certainly cleared things up C.B. thought sarcastically but held his tongue. One did not poke fun at a beast that weighed close to a ton! Especially when one weighed merely a pound or two!

“So you fancy yourself a leprechaun then?” C.B. inquired with as much tact as he could. That massive head nodded very carefully the rooster saw.

“I was born on this day two years ago. The human said that I was a leprechaun last night when he grained me. If that is the case,” the cow said with an unhurried cadence,” Then there should be a pot of gold around here for me to guard.”

“I`m not sure how these things work,” C.B. muttered with respect for his landlord,” But would gold appear in a water trough? Perhaps we should look about the pasture?”

After a moment or two of long speculation Sir Patrick of Moo raised his gigantic head.

“Yes, I think you may be correct. Do you know what a pot of gold looks like?”

“Hmmm,” C.B. pondered and stroked his beak with his left wing thoughtfully.” I should think it would be very golden and glittery. Mayhap if we stroll about we will see the first rays of the sun glinting off of the gold?”

“Yes, that seems right,” the beefer said.”Would you care to ride along and aid me in my quest?”

“I would be delighted good sir!” C.B. said with flourish and flapped his way up to the mammoth creature’s vast back.

He sighed when his small feet felt that warm red fur beneath them. Patrick began to meander then, slowly plodding along the fence. The mud sucked at his giant feet with each step and water trickled down to fill each titanic hoof print. As the twosome made their rounds of the large pasture C.B. began to sing a children`s song he had heard the young miss singing many years ago. It sounded like that ‘Little Teapot’ song tune in rhythm.

“I`m a little leprechaun
Dressed in Green
The tiniest man
That you have ever seen
If you ever catch me, so it`s told
I`ll give you my big pot of gold!”

“That was very nice,” Patrick said over his swaying shoulder.

“Thank you,” the bantam rooster said and bowed most theatrically upon the cows back.

“I think I should like to sing it as well,” Sir Patrick said and began to moo loudly.

Soon the duo was singing in perfect chicken/bovine harmony as they walked. Suddenly and without warning the cow bolted down the hill. C.B. dug his claws into that cowhide tightly! He squawked loudly as he held on dearly for much longer than the required eight seconds. Wings flapping he battled to keep his perch as the Hereford lumbered strongly to where the fence made a small corner. When Sir Patrick hit the brakes C.B. was flung forward roughly. He nearly rolled over the white and red face of his cow-car and had to spit some hay from his beak before he could speak.

“What in the name of Foghorn Leghorn has come over you my good man?!” the rooster clucked with displeasure.

“I have found my pot of gold!” Patrick replied with glee.

“You have?” C.B. inquired while trying to get his saddle feathers neatly rearranged.

“I have! Look my friend!” the cow exclaimed with a very pleased moo, his long tail nearly flinging the tiny chicken from his back so happy was he. The rooster thought to peck that whipping tail but decided against being so discourteous.

C.B. stepped carefully along Sir Patrick`s spine and peered with reservation over the hay hat. There in the dead grass from last summer, along the bottom of the fence, lay a pile of glistening wet rocks. Some were large and some were small. Some were gray and some were white. Each had gold flecks in them and the cresting sun DID make them sparkle like bouillon the rooster admitted to himself. But the small heap was not gold. It was merely a pile of rocks and pebbles the humans had made when they had put new fence posts in last year.

“I am a very grand leprechaun am I not Sir C.B.?” Patrick asked with pride.”Now I can guard this gold daily and ensure it remains hidden!”

C.B. opened his beak to tell his friend and barn-mate that what he found was not gold at all, merely some old rocks with streaks. But once he heard the pleasure in the Hereford`s voice he found he could not take away his friends gratification by ruining his delight.

“Why yes indeed you did find a pot of gold! You are truly a grand and wondrous leprechaun!” C.B. said with great warmth. Sir Patrick nodded with honor at the kind words.”Why don`t we have another round of song to celebrate your discovery?”

“I`m a little leprechaun
Dressed in green
The tiniest man
That you have ever seen
If you ever catch me, so it`s told
I`ll give you my big pot of gold!”


Happy St. Patrick`s Day!



Michele Stefanides said...

Cute story to wake up to!

A Rural Journal said...

Great way to start my St. Patty's Day. :)

Kritter Keeper at Farm Tails said...

ooops, don't think my comment went thru, your beef baby is adorable, happy st patty's day!

texwisgirl said...

Such a cute and well-written story.

Mandy said...

I loved this - so cute! lol Thanks!

Sharon said...

Cute story, Happy St. Patrick's day!

Feral Female said...

Glad you all enjoyed it! These farm tales are such fun to write. =)

Willard said...

A cute ST. Patrick's day story, with an interesting bit of philosophy weaved into its' fabric.