Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A list and a memory

Hi there gang! Let me grab the milk and sugar and we`ll have a good sit-down and reminisce just a tad then I`ll get to my list. Since the remembering kind of lead me to the list and well-it`s kind of roust-about but it`ll all make sense….I hope.

First thing I`d like to touch upon is how much your kind words and condolences have meant to both Mister and I. It is very true that once that warm wave from the front porch is no longer there it leaves a hole in your life. In honor of our neighbor and dear family friend I thought I would relay one of the memories of our friend that stands out most in my mind.

This was quite a few years ago, back when Mister and I were still giggling newlyweds, way before Miss Yodeling came along although we had been trying….which more than likely accounts for all our giggling. Our neighbor-we`ll call him Farmer F. - worked for our local gas company for many years. If I`m recalling correctly during one of the foundry’s shut-downs Mister and I agreed to do afternoon chores to help Farmer F. out.

Farmer F. raises beef cattle. We got our Hereford steer Sir Patrick of Moo from Farmer F. as a matter! Chores consisted of getting the cattle into the barn and into their stanchions, graining and haying them and then letting them back out to pasture. Since Mister had spent a goodly amount of his childhood on this farm he knew things inside and out. Me? Not so much but I was a fast learner and enjoyed spending time with the cows and steers. Please take note I did not say I enjoyed my time with….The Bull.

Now The Bull was not particularly nasty he just had this gleam in his eye. When I would walk past dropping their grain into the trough I would catch that gleam as he looked at me. I wasn`t sure if he knew we weren`t Farmer F. or not, but his actions as the week went by sure proved The Bull knew we were new kids on the beef block.

After about three days of relative calm The Bull decided it was time to play his bully cards. Apparently much to my unwitting mind, one of the cows had come into heat. When Mister opened those barn doors the herd came charging in as usual. Only thing not usual was one of the cows who had a passenger shall we say?? Now I`ve heard of piggy-back rides but this one topped the cake AND added the candles!

The cow was clearly NOT enjoying the amorous attentions from The Bull that was obvious. Maybe she just wanted her dinner? Mayhem broke out as the cow tried to dislodge her romantically inclined suitor. All two thousand pounds of Hereford slammed into one of the posts holding the hay loft over our heads!


The floor creaked and clouds of chaff came broiling down upon our stunned heads. Must be the concrete pillar made him lose his footing somehow. I couldn`t see because of the fog of chaff that was settling on my head. Madame Cow got her head in the stanchion and The Bull saw his golden opportunity! With a blood-curdling MOO (Okay maybe it wasn`t blood curdling but it sounds more dramatic to say it was) Mister-Hot-To-Trot leaped onto her back once more. His shoulders shattered the lighting fixture and sparks and smoke rolled from his hide.

I would say something about males and how single-minded they can be when it comes to certain amorous pursuits but I`ll be good…..this once.

Well through all this hoopla Mister and I were trying to persuade The Bull to stop being such a…. well….bullhead, with little success. Finally the singed and smoking bull ( Smoking from the electrocuted fur on his back being on fire and not smoking a cigarette afterwards…just wanted to clear that up) dashed from the barn and the herd followed. Mister and I stood gaping at each other, and the damage done to the barn, then decided Farmer F. needed to be told about the brouhaha.

Next day we waited until Farmer F. got home from work to do chores. When we let the cattle in The Bull was acting just as dumb as the previous day! Madame Cow went racing by with her new ‘friend’ on her back and Farmer F. simply walked up to the pair and drew back with all his strength. The thick oak branch he had been holding came down right between that rude and rhiny bulls eyes.

Now I`m not one to condone abusing animals but trust me folks a cow has a phenomenally hard skull and sometimes it takes drastic measures to make them pay attention, especially a bull with love on his mind. I think Senor Toro may have seen quite a few stars but he did stop his foolishness immediately. Farmer F. then handed Mister the oaken bough with a smile.

“Just in case you need to get his attention tomorrow,” he said to my husband.

Now I told that story so I could get to this one! See, I eventually get you there but I go via Saskatchewan to do so. * Smiles sheepishly*

Recently a blogging buddy of mine, Small Farm Girl, posted up a list of things she would like to do or learn. Maybe her list stuck in my head because of the loss of our neighbor. It may have reminded me that life is short, and if we have things we wish to do, we had best be doing them. Anything is possible when we`re talking about my mind. So here is my list of things I would like to do before I move over yonder to the eternal goat pasture.

1-Go fishing in Canada with Mister Yodeling.

2-Learn how to drive our tractor.

3-Visit the Grand Canyon.

4-Lounge on a beach in Hawaii with Mister Yodeling.

5-Figure out how to program my VCR.

6-Have a comic autographed by Stan Lee.

7-Meet Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman and/or Robert Downey Jr.

8-See something I`ve written be published.

9-Witness my daughter graduating collage and becoming successful in her chosen field THEN getting married and having children. *Whispers prayer to the gods*

10-Learn how to use my computer half as well as my child does.

(My kid still can`t believe we actually had typewriters as opposed to laptops. I inform her that yes we did and it was really hard learning to type while trying to avoid being eaten by a roaming velociraptor.)

Life is indeed short. What`s on your lists???


Sharon said...

Wow, what a memory! Now I have it too! That was too, too funny! What a wonderful way to remember your dear friend!

Great list! I don't really have one anymore, although I still would like to go gem hunting, even if the dirt with hidden gems is shipped to me! I think I have done most of the things on my bucket list, although, I gave up the thought of sky diving years ago. I've flown in 3 sizes of airplanes, the medium and large, many times. I got my diamonds. Seen the Grand Canyon, swam in both oceans, driven cross (well, the North/South version) the country on my own. Hey! I am pretty well done with my list, no other aspirations beside the gem hunting. Does that mean I'm near the bucket?

Have a great day! (BTW, VCRs aren't really that hard)

Leigh said...

HAHA! I had to laugh at the story. We use to drive past a cow farm every morning. These people had their bulls and cows running in the front pasture by the road. I recall having to explain to my daughter why that cow had a....passenger! LOL

Your list reminded me of a few things I need to do BUT I personally would be perfectly content kicking the bucket with out doing them... such as learning how to drive a stick shift and learning to shoot a gun... yeh, thats on my husbands bucket list (to teach me how to do those things). I would like to visit Colorado and Alaska.... O and I want to have my property and house built and paid for before I die... Thats it. :)

♥ Sallie said...

Great list! I have to think about mine. But I suggest working on that VCR one first! :)


~Tonia said...

Hilarious about the Bull and his pursuits! lol My husband had the bright idea of telling our girls they were playing leap frog!! He was embarassed the first time they noticed!HAHA I rolled my eyes at him and said They are making babies.. Kids said oh and didnt ask anything else till later.. He left me to explain!lol
I have programmed the VCR before but everytime I turn around it needs done again so I quit!
I have some sort of list but it changes on a regular basis.. Hubby says my A.D.D. kicks in a I forget what I was making a list for...

houndstooth said...

There are a lot of things I'll stand up to, but crazed bulls are not one of them. My sister and I were almost attacked by one years ago as we walked through the woods from my grandmother's house to my great aunt's.

My list is pretty long! I'd like to see Africa one day (I still love Out of Africa! "I had a farm in Africa..."), I'd like to write something that really touched someone on a deep and profound level and I'd like to be able to say that I did something once that saved someone's life in some way.

Enjoying Demon From The Dark yet?

Feral Female said...

Wow you all have some great lists! Africa would be awesome!

Actually Houndy I`m working my way through the Percy Jackson books but that is calling quite loudly! =)

phylliso said...

I`m having my coffee with you this am,& am cracking up over your story.It`s funny how we each learn things different ways,now you know to carry a big stick with you sometimes,he,heee,& yes,things happen in 3`s here in Pa,hope #3 isn`t too awful,really enjoy your writing & outlook on life & yes,you should be published ...phylliso

Michele Stefanides said...

Spooky--about 10 minutes ago, I actually wrote another list of what I want to do/see!! It's still open here on my computer, in case I think of some more. A few years ago, I finished my first list. And did some really cool things that weren't even on the list. I worried a little at that time that like Sharon said, I was near kicking that bucket! But I decided I just needed another list. I'm nearing publishing my first book, so that's a semi-check. Now I want to ride across the Canadian Rockies on a train, rent a camper and drive out to Utah to see the Arches National Park where my younger son worked this summer, checking out numerous sites along the way. Take another cruise, including those lovely beaches. Mostly, I'm just really happy that I've already done just about everything I ever wanted and can start actively looking for more! I must say, though, that trying to break up a tryst between a bull and an unwilling cow is NOT on the list!!