……the gods of fish and fowl!
I know, it`s hard to imagine such a thing as affable and just plain cute as this yodeling Hobbit goatherder is, but the facts be the facts. The gods are either very upset with me or are having a good chuckle at my expense. Not sure which but the heat is on and the darn critters just aren`t co-operating! I`ll explain the situation as it stands here on the hillside farm.
Monday morning Mister Yodeling came home with this slung over his proud shoulder.
22 pounds of wild turkey, quite the nice bird I did have to begrudgingly admit. So being the slightly competitive person I am when it comes to hunting and fishing yesterday after the school bus rumbled down our dirt road, Mister and I set off to find my trophy. It was a beautiful morning.
The woods were alive with merry calls from songbirds and scolds from both chipmunk and squirrels alike. We got to the Porcupine Blind which sits….oh? Why do we call it the Porcupine Blind you ask? Witness what those quill-carrying miscreants have done to the wood.
As I got settled Mister hurried to set up Homer, Marge and Marge 2.0 (Why 2 hens? I don`t know, the man said he needed another one. Who am I to question?)
After he returned, and grumbled about the porcupine chews, he called just for the heck of it. Both of us nearly came out of our skins when 2 gobblers responded right off! They were up on top of a rolling hill in the pasture and out of sight. ‘Yes!’ I thought,’ I`ll be adding my Turkzilla to the family freezer right directly!’
I thought wrong. *Sniffs* We sat in that blind for nearly three hours and do you think either of those tom`s would come see what all the lonely hen calls were about?! NO!
“I think he must have his feet glued to that rassafrassin` pasture!” I said during the long and painful wait. (Actually I said something other than rassafrassin` but G rating and all.)
“I was wondering if they had stepped into a tar pit,” Mister responded sullenly. See, here in PA if you purchase an additional tag you can harvest two gobblers. Mister did of course, I didn`t. Heck I have enough trouble bagging one let alone two!
When eleven o`clock rolled around I finally tossed my hands up into the air and admitted that Glue-Foot and Tar-Pit had won. They must have had hens with them (the strumpets) so why bother to come look at poor lonely Marge and Marge 2.0??
So hoping to pull myself up by my bootstraps from the poor showing at gobbler bagging when Mister suggested we go fishing after dinner I was all over that! Now I`d show him just what kind of outdoorswoman I was! The three of us grabbed our poles and our Power-Bait for trout and off we went to a local fishing hole that rumor had it was recently stocked.
Yeeaah, the fishing went just about the same as the mornings turkey hunt. Mister stood beside me and tugged one after another out while Miss and I stood there with empty hooks and amazed expressions. He had his limit, which is five here in PA, in about hour.
All I caught was this teen-fish which is cute as a button but not quite the catch I had in mind.
So I suppose I had best be making some sort of offerings to the gods of fowl and fish before I head out with my 12 gauge or fishing pole again! *Sits and sips coffee and tries to think of suitable offering to appease riled gods*