That was the question this short little yodeling goatherder was asking last week as my lower lumbar convulsed.
Last Thursday to be exact! I recall now that my coffee jolt has reached my synapses. It was early morning yet and I was deeply into my housework (That`s a top secret cipher-type S.H.I.E.L.D. code word I use. When you sees the term ‘housework’ it really means I`m writing on either my blog entries or my fiction tales. Keep that close to your vests though) when my husband unexpectedly pulled up. There was the usual fanfare from the three dogs to see their master returning early, much exuberant barking and baying and wagging of tails occurs with this glorious event!
It seemed that the foundry Mr. Yodeling Goatherder works in had broken down for the day he explained as I got on my hands and knees to fetch his lunch pail from Trinity`s cache as he took of his steel-toes. We spent a bit of time chatting over coffee (Who would have guessed I know) trying to decide what to do with this boon.
“If we do one of the jobs on the chore list we`ll have more free time over Labor Day weekend,” he suggested slyly over the rim of his Labrador retriever coffee mug.
I could see the wisdom of this since our weekends are usually crazy insane busy for all the heavy laborious tasks have to wait for my husband’s strong back on Saturday`s and Sunday`s. Also I had a sneaking suspicion there would be a couple of cook-outs coming along so with a sigh I turned off my laptop and left the world of heroes, dark mages and blog stories behind for this day.
We had chosen the always glamorous jobs of cleaning out the ‘bachelor pad’ and the lounging area in front of the goat barn. Over we went to do the cow/goat barn first. Mr. Yodeling went to get the tractor and manure spreader and soon we were mucking our little hearts out. Suddenly quite the fracas broke out on the other side of the gate we have to keep the fellows out when we need to stay on our feet. I heard the break whistle around that time and moseyed over to the gate to see what the ruckus was.
It seemed that our buck Anakin was feeling his oats and was engaged in a pushing match with our cowboy Patrick. Never let it be said that a lonely and frustrated man cannot overcome a much larger opponent! Maybe Anakin was hoping the ladies were watching this David & Goliath contest and were duly impressed by his strength and bravery? I`m not sure but after a moment or two of shoving and loud masculine goat vocalizing Patty gave up while Anakin paraded about with his head high and his eye cast across the driveway, awaiting the shower of roses or trinkets from the fair maidens no doubt.
The foreman then announced break time was over so it was back to work. We finally got the barn cleaned and limed, then put a nice deep bedding of hay down. We also refer to this bedding as ‘Giving the boys/girls clean sheets’. I opened the gate and the waiting throng hustled in to check out the clean bed linens with snuffling noses. Mr. Yodeling was climbing onto the tractor to move the spreader down to the girl’s dorm when I witnessed something I just HAD to pass along to him.
“Ho-neeey! Patty just pooped on the clean sheets!” I shouted with a small titter of utter impishness. I won`t repeat his reply but it made me snicker to myself. Sometimes I can be such a stinker!
I think I may have heard that break whistle again and it sounded a great deal like a lunch toned one this time around. I don`t know why Mr. Yodeling Goatherder doesn`t hear the numerous whistles like I do. It may be because he`s on the tractor and the engine noise blocks it out? That`s my thought anyway. We took a short lunch break which was followed by another cup of coffee and then we made our way down to tidy up some for the girls.
Goats are funny critters. If they come to meet you at the gate then wish to graze in the front pasture that’s all fine and well. But if you scurry past them and MAKE them stay in that very same pasture they were lounging in while you work that makes them very cranky and prone to voicing their displeasure the entire time. Needless to say we had quite the gathering of white hats to tell us to work faster! Hubby mentioned that although he was home he felt like he was at work with so much supervision.
Fortunately for our backs and our ears (Recall how I described Nubian shouts in Anakin`s story? Times that by six and add a tinge of disgruntled female complaining) it didn`t take too long to get the ladies sunny morning resting spot cleaned up for them.
I watched with a thankful eye and an elbow resting on the handle of my manure fork as that last load of dirty sheets was taken to the fields to be spread for fertilizer then turned to find eight pairs of caprine gazes locked onto me with what could only be described as impatient expressions. There may have even been some hoof tapping to drive the point home.
“Okay! Okay!” I said wearily as I made my way across their pasture to lock the gate the tractor and spreader had just went through,” Enough with the stink eyes! I`m going already! Sheesh!”
Maybe our next day off won`t include manure forks or lethal looks from goats but I wouldn`t bet the farm on it!