Friday, September 18, 2009

Those Udderly Wonderful Goats!

I hope you all wore your evening attire for you`re about to meet royalty.

I can hear you all saying ‘Okay Yodeling Goatherder, how much of that spiked coffee have you HAD this morning?’ and I would have to reply ‘More than I should have apparently’ but it`s not the heady coffee bean jolt talking. On our hillside farm we have the privilege, nay honor, of having three princesses.

That`s right. Three. Who knew the mountains of Pennsylvania would be such a Mecca for aristocratic goats? Not us or our chamber of commerce I`m sure! Why it`s fairly like Monte Carlo here, well, aside from the casinos and topless beaches. (Do bare udders count?) Anyway it`s time to present to you our trio of high blooded beauties. You should all drop to one knee but be careful of the nanny berries.

First is her supreme Nubianess Princess Elizabeth. (Fanfare commences.)

Elizabeth, or Bitsy as she allows her closest servants (That would be us) to address her is one of my best conformed Nubian does. Since I`m in the process of breeding up some of my does aren`t spectacular with their ear sets but Anakin has really been adding some length to those so-so ears. Elizabeth and he gave us twin bucks this spring that were beautiful little boys with ears WAY past their noses!

Her supreme Nubianess knows she is quite lovely and does have a tendency to look down her roman nose at us, demanding in her aristocratic and deafening voice that the royal clock does indeed show it is time to milk her supreme Nubianess. And in true upper class fashion she expects her domestics (Us again) to snap to and not keep her waiting!

Moving onward down the line of those most regal I`m pleased to present her exaltedness Princess Bianca. (Another fanfare.)

Bianca is one of two of my daughter`s does that she shows at our county fair and uses for her 4-H goat project animals. (Forgive me, her exaltedness reminds me to state that she ALLOWS my daughter the joy of claiming her.*Sigh*)Bianca came to us as a doeling back in2006 after my daughter had saved her fair winnings, Christmas money and birthday cash to buy herself a Lamancha. I suppose she wanted her own breed, one that no-one would mistake for a pendulous eared Nubian and boy did she get one!

Her exaltedness Princess Bianca differs from her socialite friend Princess Elizabeth by her cunning use of deception. Yes, it`s true, for under her ivory furred grace and beauty lies a mind that is always working at ways to confound the domestics. (Yup, us once more.) If there is a gate, latch, snap or lid on a grain can opened that was NOT left that way by the staff( Uh-huh that be us) you can rest assured the lovely Lamancha princess is the culprit. But as she IS royalty she claims diplomatic immunity when faced with charges.

Third on the list of introductions is her gloriousness Princess Jennifer. (Yet another fanfare.)

I must make this announcement on the demand of The Most Sable One-Just because she is third on this Who’s-Who list of our farm caprine society does NOT mean she is any less blue blooded then her regal caprine counterparts. As you can see Princess Jennifer is merely a colored Saanan. Sorry. I retract that previous word and will replace it with GLORIOUS colored Saanan. (Ho brother.) Jennifer also grants my daughter the permission to claim her name on her A.D.G.A. papers with serene quiet dignity and protocol. We have learned that while Nubian`s are loud, vocal and prone to hissy fits if the domestics are tardy a Sable princess waits with reserve and control, patiently nibbling pasture flowers until her needs are met.

Princess Jennifer came to us from the same friend who was privileged enough to have Princess Bianca born on her farm. Since all three of the elite regal ones were born in the same year they have bonded as only those who move in the upper stratosphere of polite society can. This spring Princess Jennifer gave us twin bucks that were beautiful, robust princes! One was identical to his mother; the other was a handsome blue toned boy. Both were snapped up by Sable breeding girlfriends of mine faster than you could say ‘Is this a pea under my mattress!?’ We`re crossing our fingers, toes and eyes for a doeling or two next spring since one cannot have TOO many royal bloodlines to cater to it seems.

Oh sorry! You all can rise now.

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